When I was younger, I took an antidepressant and an antipsychotic at the same time. I understand what you mean by emotions being suppressed. I actually ended up doing the same thing, deciding that I'd rather feel too much than not feel anything. It was a very rough time afterwards and I made a lot of bad and impulsive decisions. It took me quite a few years to get it together. Medication is not something you are meant to depend on and take forever, it's a means of stabilizing you as a short-to-mid term solution. You are in charge of your own mental health and it's up to you to improve your environment and your mindset and your habits in a way that develops long-term improvement.
That's what I told myself at least, and it worked quite well. Went from a self-harming, angry, depressed, manipulative, stoner, NEET to a pretty well functioning member of society with healthy habits and a real future ahead of me. Although it took some time and a lot of struggle.