Within half an hour though, I would not only no exactly why, but I would feel at such a deep level that almost felt like my life mission. Soon, this feeling of confusion faded into a feeling of utter amazement, bliss, and serenity. I would begin to feel similarly feelings as the first artwork, but much more vivid and rich. I felt as if nothing else in the world mattered, everything else had completely vanished from my thoughts. Even the thought of this happening had vanished. I also began to experience an intense supernatural feeling, most closely resembling what you may know as a smell. The closest smell I can describe is like some kind of perfume. But it was not just a smell - it was all encompassing. It felt like rather than breathing it, I was flowing through some gigantic ethereal wind that was passing through my body. It could feel it in my chest, nostrils, and as a slight sensation all over my body. It felt like even when I was breathing out, I was breathing out this ethereal substance instead of breathing out air.
For reference, I have never experienced anything coming close to synesthesia in my life. And the only thing that has triggered this feeling is CRBA, and it wasn't just once - to this day, I can still get this feeling sometimes, though to much less of a degree, by looking at CRBA.
I also soon discovered a sub-series of CRBA, 'AcademyLIVE'. AcademyLIVE was themed as a hybrid of an anime of CRBA and of a fictional TV network that would report on the academy, both broadcast by PonyStarTV. I became completely enamored, I was willing to sacrifice anything for this to have been a real thing. I also began to cling immensely to the name 'AVCHonline'. I would repeat it constantly in my head.
I think part of the reason why was that I felt almost like I was in a dream. I have long had a specific kind of dream, where there is something unimaginably (in the literal sense) special in the dream. I feel like I must protect it at all costs. The special characteristic of these things are that they are unimaginable, the kind of that can't even exist in your imagination in waking reality, something special. And they alter your psyche in very special and also unimaginable ways. Sometimes in these dreams, I even become self-conscious of this fact and desperately try to somehow export or move it out of my dream and into real-life. I usually wake up right after this, and then I can't remember the special object. Not because I have forgotten, I can often remember the rest of the dream in perfect detail, but because it literally cannot exist when you are awake.
And this all had felt exactly like that, but I was awake, or at least I thought I was? At some deep down level, I had an anxiety that I was actually in some very deep lucid dream, probably why I felt so attached and tried to cling on to it so much.
CRBA is immensely special to me. It is atmospheric-driven, that is, the story is driven by its abstract aura rather than being character-driven or plot-driven. And that's thing, there isn't a story, and yet by getting into the CRBA trance you know the story. Not in the sense that you know what the plot is, but that you can picture this rich emotional atmosphere that extents far beyond each individual artwork, both spatially and temporarily.
One big component of this is seasons. CRBA is at its core very seasonal. The other aural and emotional effects contribute and define the seasons. The seasons are less 'seasons' and more emotional and spiritual tapestries. While there are four seasons in CRBA, they are not the same seasons as in this world. Two of the CRBA seasons are winter and spring, but the other two are far more unique and harder to quantify. Both of them are kind of like these magic spring summer hybrids, the difference between them being that former is 'lighter', while the latter is darker and 'richer'. There is absolutely nothing like autumn in CRBA. CRBA is the antithesis of autumn.
(continued)
